To Be Called Mother
Mother's Day is in 3 days. Any plans? I love Mother's Day because my hubbie is always super nice to me (yes, he's normally a grouch) and my kids are super loving, telling me all day Happy Mother's Day.
I don't like chocolate or flowers or a gift certificate to a spa as a gift. These are totally not my thing. I would love it if a fairy came and vacuumed and cleaned the toliets and did all the landry and did all the dishes and cooked and feed the dog and wiped tooshes and went to the park and pushed swings and grocery shopped and changed the sheets and dusted the lightbulbs!
That ain't happening, but it would be nice!
I will get a lovely morning with tons of hugs and kisses and I love you's, I will get a nice brunch and I will get silly presents (I'm sure it will be candles, this is what I always get a) because Yankee Candle is next to Target which is right down the street a bit from our house b) my hubbie knows how much I hate my house to smell like SD{Stupid Dog})
So for fun I had this hanging around and thought it would be funny to post:
Six married men women will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man woman must take care of his 3 kids; keep his her assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry , and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man woman will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man woman must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He She must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the ER.
He She must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man woman will be responsible for decorating his her own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men women will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men women must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself herself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men women will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book each night and in the morning to them, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father mother will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man woman wins only if...he she still has enough energy to be intimate with his her spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man woman does win, he she can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!
After you get done laughing, Have a Happy Mother's Day !